SPOILER ALERT: Don't read unless you've read Chapter 26 in "A Discovery of Witches".
I must also warn you that this is probably the most shallow post in the history of posting. But I can't help it. It must be said.
WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON???????
Matthew came home from Oxford...Diana jumped into his arms...and ever since then I've been scratching my head (which is why I had to jump up from my bed at Midnight to post this.) First there was the little business of getting down to business...on the DRIVEWAY. I can't IMAGINE what Ysabeau must have thought when she looked out the window and saw Matthew's hand on Diana's left breastasie...and both of Diana's hands on his derriere. I mean WTF is THAT??? It was just...I dunno...awkward??? I couldn't get into it because I was like "Dude - are you in the 8th grade?? You did NOT just grab her boob in the DRIVEWAY!"
OK so THEN - she's like "yeah so Ysabeau told us we're bound now...and we went inside and discussed his trip...and then in front of the fireplace in his study he found all my ticklish parts." Um...could someone please tell me what the EFF just happened?? Did they consummate the relationship?? Did I miss it?! Or did they just TICKLE each other?!? And then, later, after dinner, they both put on their jammies and went to sleep. Literally! They WENT TO EFFING SLEEP!!!!
I am about to have a bit of an attack here...so can someone please answer this question - and this question ONLY - with a simple "yes" or "no"...because the mere mention of them going to see a movie or washing their car is a SPOILER in my humble opinion. (And I should apologize because I have skipped a lot of comments thus far due to this very thing. Call me crazy. I don't mind!) OK - drum roll please...
Did they do the nasty in front of the fireplace in the study?!
If not, I will be happy. Blue-balled...but happy. If so - I feel 10 times more jipped than when Edward bit the headboard. SERIOUSLY.